The health of a Christian marriage will be directly related to the couple’s relationship with the Lord individually and as a family unit. First, the husband and wife must be believers and they each must be walking with the Lord on a daily basis. They must be growing in the Lord independently of each other, “That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection…” (Philippians 3:10). As each spouse grows individually in the Lord they will respond to each other in a biblical fashion and grow closer. Furthermore, they must spend time together reading and studying the Bible and praying.
In the Acts of the Apostles, we find the following four anchors that characterized believers in the early New Testament church; “And they continued steadfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers” (Acts 2:42). These four anchors must also characterize marriages. Both husband and wife need to be living their lives according to correct doctrine, for example, they need to live out their biblical role and duties as a husband or wife.
Secondly, they should be in fellowship with their spouse, building and strengthening their companionship.
Thirdly, they should meditate on the work of the Lord Jesus Christ on the cross during the week and corporately at a local assembly. Lastly, they should be praying individually and jointly with their spouse.
What is the motivation for being spiritual? Jesus said in Matthew 22:37, “…Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.” Everything we do must be initiated by our love for the Lord that is what our motivation should be. Consequently, when it comes to marriage our roles should be adhered to because we are doing it for the Lord, “For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; and whether we die, we die unto the Lord: whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lord's. For to this end Christ both died, and rose, and revived, that he might be Lord both of the dead and living” (Romans 14:8-9).
Cleanwaters Counseling Ministries provides biblical discipleship and counseling to married couples and those with addictions.